Written by Mary Elizabeth McNeely, DOUG President


An Oracle Christmas Song

Sung to the tune of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
An index that’s a b-tree.

On the second day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree.

On the third day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Four TKPROFs,
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Five function calls,
Four TKPROFs,
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
A six-digit salary demand,
Five function calls,
Four TKPROFs,
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Seven users a-squawking,
A six-digit salary demand,
Five function calls,
Four TKPROFs,
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Eight scripts a-spooling,
Seven users a-squawking,
A six-digit salary demand,
Five function calls,
Four TKPROFs,
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Nine sysops dancing,
Eight scripts a-spooling,
Seven users a-squawking,
A six-digit salary demand,
Five function calls,
Four TKPROFs,
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Ten consultants a-sleeping,
Nine sysops dancing,
Eight scripts a-spooling,
Seven users a-squawking,
A six-digit salary demand,
Five function calls,
Four TKPROFs,
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Eleven time zone patches,
Ten consultants a-sleeping,
Nine sysops dancing,
Eight scripts a-spooling,
Seven users a-squawking,
A six-digit salary demand,
Five function calls,
Four TKPROFs,
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Twelve cache hit ratios,
Eleven time zone patches,
Ten consultants a-sleeping,
Nine sysops dancing,
Eight scripts a-spooling,
Seven users a-squawking,
A six-digit salary demand,
Five function calls,
Four TKPROFs,
Three corrupt blocks,
Two raw devices,
And an index that’s a b-tree!